Advice on Buying Wedding Gifts

They should be shot

Those who give living things as wedding gifts

Or at least inconvenienced in some way

Like getting the sniffles

Or losing a charger

Or sitting through lectures on metaphor, symbolism

Where they learn the burden of living with

Oh I don’t know

A lemon tree, say

That fruits and flowers in spring

Its emerald and waxy leaves resplendent in sunshine

Until that is aphids appear

Sucking nectar

Excreting black tar-like gunk

A lemon tree

Damaged soon enough from mis-handled moves and

Drunken knock-overs

Its roots constrained and straining for re-potting

In fresh soil

In a real climate

Equatorial please

Content there, wouldn’t it be?

A lemon tree

Honestly who does that?

We love it though really thank you

We’re actually very happy

After all these years