Can The Dog Tell You're Pregnant?

I am trying not to say radiant

Because that’s what people say

To women expecting

She looks simply radiant, she glows

And I am not the type to follow convention

We are doing this online so the traps are everywhere

The screen radiates its low-level radiation

Let me turn down the radio

Something something radiotherapy

Do not say radiant, I tell myself

Do not do it

Instead I come out with this:

Can the dog tell you’re pregnant?

Hardly better

A question from a floundering man if ever there was one

Her response, graceful and considerate as ever:

Hard to tell, says she

If they follow you around

Look at you constantly

Supposedly they know

No change there, I add

Stealing her punchline

Then wincing at myself

She laughs all the same

And turns ‘round the camera

So I can see the spaniel

Wide of eye and head a-tilt

Staring, as she does

At her owner

Her mistress?

Mum?

And if it is Mum

(It is)

What will the hierarchy be, I wonder?

Will the child be glad as sibling to a dog?

(It will)

What about vice versa?

(Now that is the question)

Anyway

The animal stares, is the point

Because she has no words to say what she sees

Unlike me, capable on both counts

But tied up in knots

Because who knows what to say?

I do, of course

We all do

Even the dog

She looks simply radiant, it’s true

She glows